Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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