Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
