I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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