i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Best friends brother. Beat that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.