Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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