my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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