I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
