Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
