I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
