Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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