Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Blood and glitter go together right?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
