Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
