8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize