Small penises have feelings too.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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