Soap is not a condiment
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
