i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize