I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
