I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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