Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
