Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I will pee on everything he values.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
