"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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