I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
