A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
