I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
