Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
