I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
last night I used snow as a chaser
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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