Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
