He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize