I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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