You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
