Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
