So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
