Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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