Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
please come you make the beer taste better
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
