just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
