Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
