forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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