He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think your dad took our porno
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
