Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
