i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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