I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
