that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
