why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You were trust falling into bushes
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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