You smell like a Billy Joel song
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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