Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
