WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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