he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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