I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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