rhymes with "ouble enetration"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
