She's JV to your varsity
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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