am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
