I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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