We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
where are you?
Hypothermia
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
