btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize